Aside

New year, new cycle

I had a blog post ready for today, but then I called to schedule my appointment with Dr. GL.

The conversation I had with the person on the other end forced me to scrap the 600-word diarrhea of my fingers.

It’s probably for the best. It was a very bitter post. 😉

Remember when I couldn’t decide whether to POAS?

Well, I didn’t. I decided I would rather wake up to AF than see a stark white pregnancy test. Those suckers already haunt me and I didn’t want to add more fuel to the fire.

Apparently, I’ll be taking a test anyway.

The clinic must have instituted a new policy during my off month – everyone takes a pregnancy test before starting a new round of treatment.

When I called on my lunch break, the receptionist asked if I started a new cycle.

Yes, today.

Then she said, “Did you take a pregnancy test?”

Uhh. No. I started my period.

I was then told it was just to ensure I wasn’t really pregnant, that it was legitimately my period. Okay. Cover your bases, I get that. Especially in this line of work. It would be devastating to believe a patient wasn’t pregnant because she got her “period” only to realize, after starting a new round of treatment, she actually was.

But that didn’t stop me from being annoyed at first.

I was given the option to test at home or at the clinic Thursday morning.

My initial thought was to test at home because it would likely be cheaper, but that threw me into an emotional tailspin. Even though I know I’m not pregnant, there is just something about seeing a negative pregnancy taunting your infertile self.

Like I said, they haunt me.

Then I had an epiphany. If I test at the clinic I’ll pee in that sterile cup, set it in the paper towel-clad hands of a nurse, and walk back to the exam room. I’ll never see the results. Heck, they likely won’t even mention it unless the test is (miraculously) positive.

Sanity preserved.

Since this will be akin to a “where do we go from here” appointment, I even have my list of questions ready!

I’d like to hear from Dr. GL why he thinks I only produced one follicle (as opposed to the 4+ the first time) during my second round of Clomid. I’m also curious if he has an opinion on why it was so large. I’ve convinced myself it was one giant cyst because it’s an easier pill to swallow than thinking my husband’s sperm and my egg didn’t want to marry. 😛

I want to know if the Clomid could be part of the reason I didn’t lose any weight for two cycles. If so, I’ll be able to let my trainer know for sure.

On another note, I want to know if he sees the dermoid AND non-ovarian cyst that Dr. CP mentioned in passing at my last two scans. While I’m concerned about both, the cyst is at the forefront of my mind. If it’s still there, that raises and entirely different set of questions about hormones and TTC.

Speaking of Dr. CP … I checked the calendar and CD12 falls on Sat., Jan. 18. That means they’ll likely want to schedule me for my second ultrasound on Fri., Jan. 17. Unless something has changed, there is a good chance Dr. GL will be in surgery that day.

Ugh!

I’m preparing my polite yet forceful “Hell no it’s not okay for me to see Dr. CP” speech.

I’ll be back Thursday with the outcome! Stay warm, ya’ll!

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One thought on “New year, new cycle

  1. Hoping you get some answers and I like your idea about POAS at the clinic and letting them read it. I get what you mean about having to see the negative test- they just suck the life out of you.

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