The one where sh*t gets real

First things first: Huge shout out to my five followers! Love connecting with all of you!

Second: I added three new terms to the (in)Fertility Dictionary. The two you need for this post are Dr. Crabby Pants (Dr. CP) and Dr. Good Looks (Dr. GL). The latter is my primary RE, while the former is the other doctor in the practice. Dr. GL’s nickname is compliments of my mom. When asked who he was, she said, “Is he that good looking doctor who performed your surgery?” That’s him, Mom. Dr CP gets his name because, well, I don’t like him at all. Read on and you’ll see why.

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I don’t even know where to begin writing this post, folks.

I really don’t.

My experience with Dr. CP today left me feeling extremely annoyed and anxious about the success of this cycle.

Because I need to remain especially positive during the next, oh, 17 days or so, I’m writing this post as a way to release this negative energy and then I’m moving on. 😛

Last cycle, as you may recall, I had my follicle check with him because Dr. GL was in surgery. I liked him well enough, but the longer I waited for AF to arrive the more I wondered if it was his medical expertise I liked … or the fact that he talked about photography with me.

This cycle, when Dr. GL told me he would again be in surgery (stupid holiday!), I figured I’d be AOK because the treatment plan we discussed was outlined in his notes.

Everything did work out fine, but I left the office knowing I will refuse to see Dr. CP in the future.

Before I get into why, let’s talk numbers:

  • One 27.5 mm follicle
  • 8 mm endometrium
  • One cyst that is NOT on my ovary (Seriously? Again?)

So, only one follicle this time … and it’s huge. :-/ Again, the OPK indicated ovulation would occur today.

After the ultrasound, things began to get dicey.

When Dr. CP told me the results of the OPK, I told him about my experience last time and how I didn’t believe I truly ovulated on CD 10.

He just stared at me. Then, he looked back to his computer screen and said, “So, you want to take the HCG trigger then?”

Yes. That was the plan.

The only response I received was furious typing on the laptop keyboard. Then, he told me I’d have to pick up the shot at Walgreens and to take it as soon as I got it.

The next thing I knew he was closing the laptop, closing my file and standing up. I looked up from my seat to find him simply looking at me. I’m not kidding when I say I felt like he was surprised to see me still there.

I said, “Is that it?”

He said, “Yep. That’s it. Good luck,” as he walked out the door.

Look. I don’t expect doctors to be warm, fuzzy and cuddly; however, I do expect there to be some level of respect for me as a patient. And I don’t feel as though I was given that today. I’ll also admit that I’m likely an emotional mess having taken this Clomid, but I don’t think I’m reading into things.

I also expect there to be some sort of dialogue between doctor and patient to determine a treatment plan – and this dude definitely wasn’t in the mood.

The more I thought about that follicle size, the more I worried it could just be a cyst and not produce an egg. Prior to picking up my medicine, I sat in Walgreens parking lot and called the office to ask about the size. I was advised by the nurse to continue as planned because, “If he prescribed the medicine, he must believe the cycle is a go.”

Okay then.

I marched myself into the store, picked up my prefilled syringe and went home to have Randy give me the subcutaneous injection.

Come 1 a.m. Wednesday morning (give or take a few hours) the 2WW begins again.

In the meantime, we’ll hump like bunnies and hope to reproduce like them as well ( <— Kidding about the latter). 😉

Annnnnnnd … *deep cleansing breath*

With all of that said, I want to take a moment to simply be thankful we have the means and funds to seek out treatment. That alone means more to me than anything.

Have a great week, everyone! I’ll be back after the holiday. 🙂

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